I’ve been overly depressed lately. I don’t know why. Or perhaps rather, I do know why, and that why is that there is no reason…..n/m.
I could probably use some sort of therapy. I’ve been “meaning” to set something up for a long time. I’ve been “seriously” thinking about it for the last few weeks. It just occurred to me the other day that even if I did, we can’t even afford so much as the co-pays considering I should probably start off seeing someone a couple of times a week. Perhaps worse yet, my insurance only covers 25 visits per year. Seeing as though I think every other week would be far, far too little, I’d run out and have to pay full price before I made it too far, which is in the end what makes the idea really unattainable.
What I really need to do is to quit it with the things I’m addicted to. Of course when I say quit, I really don’t mean quit. Not exactly anyways. There are several things I do to pretty much keep my mind off of reality. These things aren’t bad in and of themselves, but I abuse them and they become bad. I’m not hesitant to use the word “addiction” either. I’m quite well convinced that it’s not entirely dissimilar from being addicted to alcohol or drugs or anything else (though it’s obviously not 100% the same either). My problems stem from TV/movies, my computer, games (from time to time) and books. I need to pretty much drop these things from my life as much as possible. TV had become easy to cut back on now that BG and SGA are done for the season. I’m not about to quit watching The Simpsons, but then that’s only half an hour. I don’t plan on giving up football for the season either, but it’s amazing how quickly TiVo can make 3 hours of football go by…
Milenka and I occasionally watch things together as well, and that’s fine. I just need to stop, say, watching TV in the middle of the day when I should be doing other things.
Books are kind of hard. I really need to pretty much restrict my reading to school related stuff and otherwise only while I’m at work (I actually can’t think of a more appropriate time to try to escape reality…).
I need to cut back on my computer usage as well. I can waste away hours….daily. I generally start reading this or that and then find links to more and more and more until I have a window with 20+ tabs open. For the time being, I’m giving up on reading much in the way of anything, including blogs and news. I still plan on writing, and the whole computer science thing usually involves usage of a computer at some point, but as far as everything else goes, I need to keep it to a minimum.
Annoying me as well is the fact that I can’t wear my wedding ring. I tried it again, and I still have a reaction to it. From a brief googling of the topic, it looks like people generally aren’t (if ever) alergic to the gold itself but rather nickel that they’ve mixed in with it. The higher the gold content, the less nickel and also the more expensive the item and the more likely that they’ve used some other, more expensive material in the alloy other than nickel.
Adding to all of this, Milenka doesn’t care. That’s not exactly true, but better than half of the time she’s just fed up with me and unwilling to help me in any way. While that’s not helpful, I can’t really blame her either as I’m plentifully fed up with myself as well and I’d probably feel the same way were the roles reversed.
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