No More School
I dropped all of my classes for the semester.
In a way, this is a huge relief. I have enough going on without having to deal with school as well and with it out of the way maybe I can focus on getting my shit together. At least I know that I stand a much better chance of being able to do so. Also, the situation I was in for most of my classes was that I would need to do quite well for the remainder of the semester in order to pass. If I were able to apply myself I know that I’d be more than capable of doing so, but I don’t really see myself being able to do that. I’d much rather not deal with it.
On the down side, I really hate to fail at anything (not that you’d know from how much I do it…). In a way I hate giving up on it. I really just want to be done with it all. I’m so close and this of course just sets me back that much more.
On the all and all though, I know that I’ve chosen the best option. Now I just need to slay those demons or whatnot, get back to it in the fall and live happily ever after. Or rather, as Stephen King points out, no one ever does, but rather I will live and there will be happiness. That’s the plan anyways.
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Sounds like you made the right decision, as hard as it was. You were under so much pressure, it’s no wonder it felt as if everything was falling apart. I think with the weight of school off your back, slaying your demons won’t seem so daunting. This may sound corny, but you should try visualizing the changes you want to make in your life. Many people do this from sports players, to high powered business men, to actors, to musicians. It’s not as new agey as it sounds. The purpose is to keep a clear picture of what you want in the front of your mind. If you are ambiguous about your goals, even in your own mind, you won’t be able to accomplish them because you won’t know exactly what they are. OK, blah blah blah ;o)
BTW, I noticed that both you and Milenka have favicons for your sites. I’ve tried putting one on my blog but it won’t show up. Do you have any advice for me? Thanks.
Wow man, tough call! It sounds like it’s for the better with how busy you are. Sorry to hear that it came down to that. Hopefully they’ll give you at least a little money back since you dropped everything instead of just a couple classes. I dunno about Central, but here at GVSU you can meet with a dean and explain why you dropped classes, and if they like your explanation you get most of your tuition back (they still keep all of the BS “matriculation fees” though)
I hope you’re able to work things out. It sounds like you have trouble getting motivated? Maybe the problem is that you’re dead tired mentally and/or physically from working all the time and it gets really hard to spend every waking minute either studying or working. I’m in the same boat, but I decided to just take out the federally subsidized low interest student loans and focus 100% on school. My job is just a resume builder that I don’t actually have to spend a lot of time on, cuz I’m not relying on it for money. I have a rediculous amount of debt, but it’s at almost zero interest and won’t be a big deal when I finally graduate next year and have a decent income to pay it off. I don’t know what financial situation you guys have, so this might not be an option, but I’d look into it.
The other big change I made that helped me academically was to start working out on a regular basis. I was basically talked into it on a bet, and didn’t think it would do anything but make me more tired. I was completely floored by how much clearer my thoughts became within the first few days, and how much easier it was to study for long stretches when I’d gotten a good solid run or lift in during the day. It’s like all those thoughts that pull you away from studying and concentration just disappear. Sleep becomes infinitely more refreshing and you get a regular endorphin rush that keeps you happy.
Cheesy as it sounds, the mind and the body are one and the same. Sleep, exercise, healthy diet, and moderate recreational drug use to keep things interesting have done wonders for my GPA and increased my ‘baseline’ level of happiness.
So, there ends a long and rambling advice column! I just downloaded and burned Ashes of the Wake which I think is the newest Lamb of God album. The vocals aren’t the greatest (just kinda generic screaming), but otherwise those guys kick ass.
Remember- unholy Saturday is coming and Iron Fist and Harbringer are marching toward the capitol. In the words of a certain commercial “One night only! One night only! One night only! SAAAATURRRDAY!! If you miss this you’d better be dead…or in jail…and if you’re in jail…BRRRREEEAAAK OUUUT”
So, if you have time come see the amazing Truckasaurus, errr I mean the show. We’re probably gonna head over there at like 9 or 10 and it would be great if you can make it. Guaranteed we’ll be able to stand right up by the stage cuz who does afterall go to a metal show the night before Easter??